The first of my new little habits was starting this blog. That is easy for me. I procrastinate anyway and one of the things I do is shift my focus from urgent work to something less pressing. This blog is not in the top 3 urgent things yet here I am doing it. My brain is fighting itself over priorities. At least I am not in total overwhelm mode. I don't do anything productive at all in that state.

Since I am trying to change myself a little bit at a time I figured it was perfect if I take a few posts and talk about my background and goals before honing in on the next little habit. February is right around the corner and I will probably start a tiny little habit change around then. Starting small and working up will be my plan of attack. I have bit off too much before. Know the feeling?

Anyway I will begin that part soon. Maybe after I have my first subscriber! I could use the motivational help. ; )

Here in the beginning of this venture I feel optimistic. When I visualize further ahead I can easily see how trying to change core traits is a tough thing to do. I have lost that battle many times in the past. It wasn't until I actually tried changing something little that I had a success.

One example it that I floss regularly now. The late comedian Mitch Hedberg said "I can't get into flossing, I can't. People who smoke say you don't know how hard it is to stop smoking. Yes I do. It's as hard as it is to start flossing... You seem jittery. Yeah, I'm about to floss." Well, I floss now and even though I still have to make myself do it I haven't stopped in 2 years. For some that would be as easy as making the decision to start flossing. Not me. This far in and I still have to make myself do it. I don't get any enjoyment out of it nor do I get positive feelings when I try to imagine how I will appreciate the effort in the future. I just slog through it.

I am hoping that at some point I can get a greater sense of satisfaction from accomplishing tasks. I have no idea if that has anything to do with my procrastination. Possibly because I feel there is always something else to do I never let myself get joy from accomplishment. Maybe, it is because I don't reward myself, since I tend to do things I like (internet) all day. I will have to explore that notion more in the future.

I am posting this while a big deadline is looming down on me in 2 days. I normally rush things at the end and that will go on the habit list eventually. See, I am not kidding. I need to make some changes.

I was doing fine until I came across Zenhabits last year.

Over the last 3 to 4 years I had done a little bit of work on myself. I bought an iPod and one of the Tony Robbins' CD programs and would take daily walks gleaning information I thought useful for getting my life a procrastinator in control. I made some changes but at the same time slipped deeper into the world of feeling easily overwhelmed.

In 2007 I had hit an all time high in the amount of hours I wasted in a day. Who knows where the time went but I can tell you it kept me away from whatever the project was that actually needed my attention. I wasn't a failure since I could rush at the end and make things work. But I knew I was only getting worse at this behavior.

Something else was happening in 2007 though. In my many hours of daily web absorption I noticed nearly every week a new post by Leo Babuta on Zenhabits would make it to the front page of Digg. They would rapidly move up the dugg list and I read some of them. After the first few I realized they were finely crafted messages that really touched a nerve with the Digg crowd. Perhaps it was the because a majority of the users voting it up could see they spent too many hours being unproductive on the very site that brought them in touch with Leo's advice. That is how it felt for me. I abuse social news sites and here was one providing me the link to insight I needed.

Zenhabits was an easy add to my RSS list and I quickly started to read everything that came from the site. I tried to put some of the things Leo mentioned into practice, but wasn't ready for others. I eventually joined Leo's forums and tried a monthly challenge and failed. Then I tried again. After that didn't stick I realized that it was because I wasn't checking in with anyone else who cared. The forums were trying to provide a place to help out but if you have a group of people who procrastinate it is too easy to lose some and never realize they are missing. Lots of people saying "I'm here, I'm here" but no one actually taking attendance. I tried several times to find a buddy to help with mutual accountability but they faded away very quickly.

I believe I have a good shot at getting my huge procrastination problem under control. By the time I started reading Zenhabits Leo already seemed to have everything under control in his life. It was a meteoric rise and his transformation was amazing. This blog is my contribution to show that normal people can change. You can probably relate to this when I say it is scary to put myself "out there". Failures handily outnumber successes when it comes to making positive changes to my life. I am hoping this big leap will provide enough focus for me to improve my success ratio.

Many years ago my dad taught me to look for the win-win scenario. Hopefully this blog will help others move forward as much as it will motivate me.